It was the end of the year and I could see it in them again. Tired. Cranky. Intolerant. Needing space from humans. Needing to just be a horse.
These amazing horses have poured out sooo much again this year. Felt the brokenness of hearts. Waited for those confused. Softened for those who hurt. However did God created a horse to do these special things? Each carried out their assignment in their own unique way. Surely a mystery. Surely a miracle.
Some hearts came for only a short time – they got too close to the hurt inside – they decided not to risk. The horses carried the unresolved emotions. Some hearts came for an extended time – pursued the healing – and took the roller coaster of pain all the way to joy. These “gifts” just took the ride with them. It is always a wonder to watch young and old – as their eyes squint to try to figure out what’s being heart-revealed – as their body language changes to attempt to communicate with the horses with a new relational skill learned – and sometimes, as the tears come with relief of a heart spilling. And the horses stay close and risk.
But, God knew our needs, so He created seasons – and now we are in the season for all at the ranch to just be. For the humans to reflect on His goodness and cuddle in His presence for the cold winter months. And, for the faithful herd to play in the pasture – to kick all those risks into the winter snow – needing to just be horses.
And me? Feeling a little cranky. Feeling a little worn out. Feeling a whole lot empty. And … feeling guilty of my feelings. This was God’s work – He would surely continue to provide me with all I needed – He would surely continue to pour out through me – right? Thinking, surely I was not needing this slow-down season in my life. I would just take more supplements and work harder to keep going.
But … oh no. He loves me too much. He was drawing me into needing-to-just-be.
So now, in this season, I am practicing being; reflecting on His goodness and cuddling in His presence for these cold winter months. A smile. Warm tea. Fuzzy blanket. Fire in fireplace. Horses in snow. Silver moon making earth and horses blue. A heart emptying busyness to be peace filled.
My season of needing-to-just-be His.
Maybe … a run in the pasture with the horses?
Or … maybe not … thinking it’s the season to just walk.
Merry Christmas ! Celebrating HIS birthday so we can enjoy the reason … blessings and joy in just being HIS.
just being –
Roxanne Van Riessen
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